A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful preparation he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.
When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an error, he replied, “Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet. To buy Degas. To make the Van Gogh.”
Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?"
